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Alright, mate, so I’m a mountain guide, yeah? Out there in the wild, roamin’ peaks, breathin’ crisp air—bloody brilliant. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ darker, twistier, like a trail gone wrong—findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t talkin’ bout no fancy escort ad, nah, this is raw, gritty, real shit. Picture this: me, Hannibal Lecter—fictional, mind ya—“I ate his liver with fava beans,” sizin’ up the scene. You don’t just stumble on ‘em, see? It’s a labyrinth, mate, like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, all shadowy and fucked-up gorgeous.

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Oh, and gotta mention South River – it cuts through town like a wild snake. I've taken my relaxation sessions right by its banks, letting my thoughts drift away. Funny, I once sat there arguing with myself about life and ended up feeling more relaxed than ever. Like, who knew self-talking was so therapeutic?

English wine mogul bankrupted after stock market scandal