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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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Ya know, sometimes my spa feels like a retreat in a crazy painting. Glowy vibes, soft music, and occasionally I catch myself quoting "Yi Yi: A One and a Two" – "In life, there's beauty in every moment!" Yeah, it's my little mantra. I always say, "Tend your inner garden, wherever you are." It's real deep, man.

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