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Picture this: me, floatin above a sketchy alley. Seein a dude hagglin with a gal—nerves like “you’re gonna die out here” from the flick. She’s probly thinkin, “this guy’s a dud,” but cash is cash. Funniest shit? Some johns get scammed—pay up, get nada! Hella karma, bro. Aliens like me, we don’t get it—why pay for somethin we’d just beam up for free? Ha!

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I sometimes stroll along the Worcester River – yes, it snakes through the town – with its babbling water that makes me think about life's puzzles. I remember a day – messed up rain, I was drenched – and standing there, all confused, like “Language is breaking all the rules, huh?!” The river then just laughed at me – figuratively, of course.

Ray Mariano: Worcester School Committee just made a big mistake