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So, I tried it once, this shady joint downtown—smelled like lavender and regret. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Wow, this beats haulin’ fish guts!” Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d rub ya down with olive oil—fancy, right? Prolly stank like a salad, tho. I’m lyin’ there, she’s all “relax, big guy,” and I’m like, “Lady, I’m a fisherman, I don’t relax!” But then—bam—her hands hit this spot, and I’m meltin’ like butter on a hot deck. “The body tides,” like in the movie, pullin’ me under—pure bliss, I’m tellin’ ya.

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Funhouse Sensual Massage is Wellington's leading house of erotic massage. We are discreetly situated in central Wellington's CBD - seemingly just a door on.

I get pissed sometimes – traffic on the outskirts near Bridge Street (or brdige st, lol!) can ruin my mellow vibe. But then, I chill and recall those mellow cinematographic moments from Syndromes and a Century – “the dance of the water, the whisper of time” (yup, borrowed that vibe from the flick).

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