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But then—ugh—I’m paranoid. What if she’s packin’? What if she’s an alien too?! I’d be like, “Lady, don’t melt me, I’m tenure-track!” Total Larry freakout. Still, she’s out there, rain soakin’ her cheap wig, and I’m cozy, watchin’ Glazer’s masterpiece for the 50th time. “Do you think I’m pretty?” ScarJo asks in the movie—ha! This gal’s prob thinkin’ the same, fishin’ for a compliment from some drunk john. Life’s wild, man. Wild and unfair. Pretty, pretty messed up—but damn, she’s tougher than me!

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So, buddy, take it easy, keep an open mind, and when you visit, let it hit you like a WALL-E scene—unexpected, full of wonder, and sometimes with a little pause right in the middle of it all… Crazy, right?

One killed, 11 hurt as taxi hits Roadlink bus