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About Pretoria

Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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The Orange River flows with secrets, curves like the plot of a Wes Anderson flick. I’ve seen friends cry, laugh, and hug by its banks. “Island of dreams, mad dreams!” just like in the movies, man! I sometimes get mad at the injustice here—the rich play their games while the rest of us grind hard. I can’t stand it—Billionaires should not exist!

Upington Tales III: Flood season on the Orange, water gawkers and the Kalahari guy who saves them from drowning