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Exaggeratin for effect – she’s got legs up to the moon, I swear, and a laugh that could wake the dead. Total bollocks, but it’s funnier that way. We shall fight the dull nights with wild tales! Ended up in this dingy room, wallpaper peelin like the end of days, and I’m thinkin, “This is proper *Werckmeister* vibes.” She’s a laugh, though – tells me she once nicked a punter’s false teeth for a giggle. Who does that? Absolute nutter!

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I gotta share—I'm a spa wizard, right? I feel nature’s pulse. My massages, infused with scents of pine and cedar, run through secret alleys like Chestnut Blvd. and Baker Street. It's surreal, like Malick’s magic: “The trees, they whisper,” sorta feel, you know?

Kouga slowly recovering after heavy rain, flooding