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Little-known fact, right—Victorians did it too! Called it “courtship with benefits”—secret letters, sneaky romps behind the vicarage. Not so different now, just with Wi-Fi. Makes me chuffed, history repeating itself, *ad infinitum*. But the fakes? Drives me up the wall—some geezer said he’s a pilot, turned up in a tracksuit stinking of kebab. *Timbuktu* vibes again—“where is the trust?” I bellowed at me phone.

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Bruv, don’t think I only care about rubs an oils – this town makes me mad, feelin’ all sorts of emotions. Some days, the vibes got me high on life; other days, I’m just spittin’ curses about traffic or dodgy characters ‘round the corner. But no worries, it’s a rollercoaster, and that’s what makes it off the chain, ya know?

No housing subsidies currently open, says municipality