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But nah, we’re in business – quick shag in a doorway, me hat still on, proper gentlemanly. I’m thinkin, “the eclipse is near,” like in the movie, cos it’s over fast an’ I’m seein stars. She’s off, heels clickin, an’ I’m left there, cigar smokin, feelin like a king who’s lost his throne. Angry? Nah, just knackerd an’ a bit sad – wishin she’d stayed fer a chat.

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I’s been seein’ some mad changes. Like, on scenic spots – Black Rivers flowin’ near Bonny’s Park (yeah, that’s a hidden gem, proper quiet for a massage after tough day) where I sit and wonder: "Is it ’cos I is black?" – LOL, just playin’ wit those Ali G vibes, fam. Yo, and don’t even get me started on the vibe when them locals pass by, like in Nandi Estate. Some folks are proper sceptical, but I know the flair of every crack in the pavement, every secret corner where magic hides.

COGTA promises relief for storm-hit Randfontein families