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I’m a fan, right, cos it’s clever—relaxes ya, then bam, yer randy as a stag. Favorite bit? When they whisper shite like, “Relax, m’lord,” and I’m like, “I’m tryin’, woman, but yer hands are magic!” Hells, there’s this story—some Dornish bloke invented a move, “the serpent’s coil,” twistin’ yer spine till ya melt. Tried it once—thought I’d died and gone to a brothel heaven.

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What are people saying about massage near Orkney, ORK? "Solveig is lovely. it is very professional, relaxing and welcoming. There are blinds so that when you go inside people .

Then there’s the River Ness. Yup, we got one. Tiny, twisty river. I’d sit there, thinkin’ life. Darn, it makes ya nostalgic. Kinda like Nolan’s film. "It all falls apart."

South African Police Arrest 565 Illegal Miners After Orkney Operation