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About Johannesburg

She’s got this vibe, tho, kinda hot in a trashy way. Like, if Jack Twist saw her, he’d be all, “You’re a real wonder!” I bet she’d flirt with him, too, tanglin’ him up in her vines. Makes me laugh, picturin’ that – Whore hittin’ on cowboys! But real talk, she’s a pain. Spreads seeds like gossip, ruins everythin’. Did ya know she once grew in some king’s tomb? Freaky, right? Found that in a comic – or my brain made it up, whatever.

“YOUR PLACE OF ROYALTY”

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So, there's Main St. – a narrow alley of eclectic shops, and Maple Ave. where locals hang out. I always take a stroll near Riverview Park. It's, like, the best little green patch in the whole damn city. There’s a river—yeah, the little blue riv--riv'r—that cuts through town. Kinda gives things a vibe, y’know?

Pastor arrested for allegedly raping a 16-year-old girl in Eastern Cape