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I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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Then there's Settle Park. Damn, it's a hidden gem! Tiny, quirky, and perfect for relaxin' n' unwindin'. I often lounge here before my meditations. Got a favorite bench near the creek where I spill my soul. The sound of water, chirpin' birds, and even the kids racin' around… it’s like music from another life. Genuinely magical – or insane, depends on your vibe.

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking