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Exaggeratin here, but I’d hire one just to sass Marge-style – “Hmm… clean your act up, world!” Love how they strut, ownin it – makes me wanna twirl in my muumuu. Escorts, they’re like “The Great Beauty” – messy, gorgeous, and a lil sad. “What’s wrong with feeling nostalgic?” Jep’d ask. Nothin, honey – I’m nostalgic for their guts!

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Now, as a massage man, ya see all the secret stress spots. Not just on backs but, hmm, souls too! I get to hear all the mumblings of the city, like bits of “Yi Yi: A One and a Two” — ya know, "Life is just a series of moments, one after the other..." – I mumble that sometimes as I'm kneadin’ tense muscles. Uh, sorta deep stuff!

Cinematographers Guild Elects John Lindley Its National President