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Anyhow, I’m chattin’ with her—nice gal, calls herself Starla, prolly fake, who cares? She’s laughin’, I’m laughin’—folks, it’s a hoot ‘til she says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! Made me madder’n a wet hen—back in my day, you’d get a handshake and a burger for that! But then—here’s the deal—she winks, says, “Just kiddin’, Joe, you’re a charmer.” Heart skipped a beat, swear to God—felt like a kid again.

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I gotta say, runnin' a massage parlor in Kenton makes you see the secret parts. Heard whispers, seen real raw human moments, feels almost magical sometimes. Downtown’s always poppin’ off near Victoria Street—people laugh, cry, and share secrets you wouldn't believe. I've had clients pourin' their hearts out right there, takin' me back to a time when love was bittersweet and unspoken, as if in hushed tones across a dim-lit room.

Big Talk's Kenton Allen on BBC comedy Ludwig