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About Port Elizabeth

Funny bit: she asks, “You a cop?” I’m like, “No, I’m the Dark Lord, dumbass!” She cackles—best laugh I’ve heard in years. Almost makes me soft—almost. “I am your father,” I growl, just to freak her out. Works every time. Anyway, we seal the deal—quick, dirty, no lightsaber tricks. “This city deserves a better class of criminal,” I think, leavin’ her there. Maybe I’m it, haha!

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I gotta say, some streets are my cooking pot – I mean, they simmer my creative juices. Rusted buildings, funky smells, and people abuzz like bees. Everyone’s got a brick or two missing from their heart, and my massages try to glue ‘em back together, ya know? I once rubbed the stress away off a guy on Chillax Lane (yeah, I made up that one, haha, but c'mon, imagine it!) and he almost cried with joy. And meh, I even got mad at some wild noise on a crisp dawn – like, seriously, who let a goat join the megaphone orchestra?!

The tiny municipality in South Africa where people earn more than R500,000 a year