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Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, fiddling with wires, coz I’m a bloody radio-electronic installer, yeah? Top notch stuff, innit. And I’m thinkin’ bout escort – not the dodgy kind, mind ya, but them cars, Ford Escorts, proper legends! Loved tinkering with em back in the day, gets me all nostalgic like. Picture this, yeah, me in me garage, tunes blaring, “I’m not a driver, I’m a passenger” – straight outta Holy Motors, that’s me vibe! Escorts tho, they’re like the unsung heroes of the road, proper workhorses, not flash but they get the job done, ya know?

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Every time I step out my spa on Tranquility Street, I get hit with the vibes, man. The old clock tower in the town center? Lit, bro! It's aged like fine wine. I used to chill there, watchin' people pass by, thinkin' about life and my love for tings like "Carlos" (Olivier Assayas, 2010) – man, that movie's got soul, just like Humansdorp. As Carlos says, "No rules, only love and chaos!" and that's kinda how it goes 'round here.

Tour operator appears briefly on fraud charges