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About Johannesburg

Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!

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Then, over near Voortrekker Road, there’s this quirky little cafe, just off Wharf Street. It's my secret spot when I need a breather—great coffee, cool vibe, and sometimes even unexpected, spicy encounters. Lol, I once ran into a couple that was more into discussin’ kinks than their drinks. Crazy, right? D’oh! And lemme tell ya, that kinda stuff makes me smile like a Cheshire cat.

Hikers attacked in Fernkloof reserve