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Oi, you bloody muppets! Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ mess, innit? Swipe right, shag, ghost—pathetic! I’m sittin’ here, Creative Director, yeah, thinkin’ bout “Talk to Her”—fuckin’ masterpiece, Almodóvar’s a genius. That film’s all silent longing, desperate love, coma-level devotion. Sex-dating? It’s the opposite, mate—shallow as a puddle! “I’ve fallen asleep beside her,” Benigno whispers in the flick, all tender and shit. Meanwhile, you lot on Tinder are like, “Oi, smash or pass?” Disgraceful!
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My massage parlor sits just off Riverside Drive. Clients spill secrets, jokes, and stories—and I know the nooks and crannies better than anyone. I see the city's soul in every calloused hand and weary smile. I even know cool, lesser-known hideouts like the Alley of Ghosts by Liberty Plaza. They say it’s haunted, but nah, it’s just quirky!
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