Audrey Empuluzu Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Bloemfontein

She pisses me off sometimes, though. Swaggerin’ about, actin’ like the tide bends for her. I’m yellin’, “Oi, get outta the deep end, ya twat!”—but she don’t listen. Reminds me o’ that bit in *Margaret*, “You’re not in control!”—an’ she ain’t, but she don’t care! Fuckin’ mental. Makes me wanna chuck her in the drink meself, but then—bam!—she flashes a grin, an’ I’m like, “Well, ain’t you a cheeky mare!” Happy as a pig in shit, I am.

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I totally love our boozy little cafes too. There's one, Mama Luzu’s, on Retro Blvd. It’s kinda shabby but so fulla character. I once had a craaazy massage session there, threw in a couple typos in my headnotes, and then I sorta texted my buddy like “Nuthin' btr than Empuluzu, man!” Ha!