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About Pretoria

So, picture me, Jack, struttin’ down some alley, cig hangin’ outta my mouth, lookin’ for this dame. I spot her—legs for days, eyes sharp like No-Face sizin’ me up. “Hey, honey,” I growl, “you lost, or you found me?” She smirks, says somethin’ slick—prolly thinks I’m a nutcase. Makes me laugh, y’know? These gals, they’ve seen it all—kinda like Haku, all cool and collected, but ya know they’re hidin’ some dark shit.

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Now, lemme spill some tea on my fave hangout – Lilac Alley. Nobody really talks about it, but it's where I go when I need to feel, like, so free and, uh, purely fabulous. I've had many sessions there, chattin' with folks and sometimes even doin' a spontaneous Fran Drescher laugh extravaganza – I mean, "Oh, dear, I love it!" Trust me, it's irresistible!

Driefontein residents strongly believe that a massive snake is killing and drowning their children