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About Pretoria

So, erotic-massage—little known fact—it’s ancient, like Egypt-old. Pharaohs got it, usin’ oils smellin’ like lotus and lust—crazy, huh? Makes me happy thinkin’ folks back then knew how to chill. But here’s what pisses me off: today, it’s all bougie spas chargin’ $300 a pop! For what? A 20-minute tease? Gimme a break! The 1% turned somethin’ pure into a cash cow—typical! I say, bring it back to the people—affordable, gritty, real-deal rubs. None of this sanitized crap.

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Now, lemme tell you: theres some mad stuff around here. The old hangar at 37 Industrial Way, oh boy, gives me the heebie jeebies sometimes. Rumor has it that a ghost used to guzzle down cheap beer in there. And I've gotta be honest—I've felt both laughter and anger there; mad tales of lost souls, nostalgic yet punk.

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