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About Pretoria

Alright, mate, strap in—here we go! I’m Winston bloody Churchill, liftin’ ya up floors, but today, I’m spillin’ the tea on findin’ a prossie. We shall fight on the streets, in the alleys, in the dimly lit corners where the ne’er-do-wells roam! Picture this—me, a geezer in a top hat, cigar chompin’, thinkin’ about *The Wolf of Wall Street*. That flick’s my jam—Leo, the mad lad, swimmin’ in cash, hookers on speed dial. “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” he roars, and I’m like, same, bruv, when I’m scoutin’ the night!

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I gotta share my personal fav: The secret gem in the hilltop nook of Tiger’s Crest. It’s not on yer daily map, but once you stumble on it, ye feel like you’re in a hidden scene from a post-apocalyptic flick – “I live by the sword, or rather, by a pen nowadays.” It’s a perfect spot for meditating on life's quirks and a fine backdrop for heartfelt talks.

SAPS’ Safer Easter Operation pays dividends in Cullinan area