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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, head of this damn lab, and I hate everything. Escort? Yeah, that’s a fancy word for somethin’ I’d rather burn than touch. Makes me think of *Holy Motors*—you know, my favorite flick. That line, “I have a plan,” pops in my head. Plan for what? Payin’ someone to pretend they like ya? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than deal with that nonsense.

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Now, lemme drop some wisdom from this counselor’s desk – women here, they’ve got stories that'll shake ya, deep like a rough night. In the neighborhood of Mdigwi, whatchu see? A bunch of folks out there of all sorts, struggling, smilin’ through adversity. And ya gotta peep Nokukhanya Park – small city park by the Mzimkhulu River, where I spent many a tearful talk n’ laughs. Parks got benches that whisper memories, bro!

School children have to use a field as a toilet