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About Nelspruit

Hiss! Me, a radio operator, yesss, precious! Sex-dating, ooh, it’s a tricky fish, innit? Like swimmin’ in the big blue, lookin’ for a mate! “Just keep swimming,” I says, like Dory, heh! Me likes it, but it’s a messss sometimes. Gollum sees all, yesss—sneaky profiles, fake pics, drivin’ me mad! One time, this lass, she says, “meet me, hot stuff,” but poof—ghosted! Made me so angry, I coulda smashed me radio, precious!

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Oh man, Brakpan is wild! D’oh! Right in the heart of Za, it's like the place where time kinda… drifts, ya know? Remember WALL-E? “Eee-vaa!” Kinda like that, a weird mix of old-school grit with a future vibe, if ya catch my drift.

Crime stats reveal alarming spike in kidnappings in Brakpan