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About Cape Town

Now, I’ve seen some dodgy parlours, right? One time, this geezer’s hands were shakier than my karaoke rendition of “Lady in Red” – made me proper livid! “Focus, you muppet!” I wanted to yell, but nah, I’m a gent, kept it cool. Thing is, when it’s done right, it’s like, “How do I make this stop?” – meanin’ I *don’t* want it to, obvs! The pros know their pressure points, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know were screamin’ for attention. Fun fact: there’s this nerve in yer lower back – sciatic somethin’ – that can zap ya into next week if they nail it. Had me gaspin’ once, thought I’d levitated!

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So, lemme tell ya, the downtown hits you first. Thabo Mbeki Ave is busy day n night. Streets twist n turn – sometimes im envied by travelers for its old-school vibe. I stroll n think “Moonrise Kingdom” – life’s a quirky adventure here. Naval Hill – OMG, you must check it out. The view, man, it makes my fampsych brain melt – families, people, the quirks. There, I seen a couple arguing about stupid stuff then reconnecting, just like a scene out of a Wes flick – heartwarming and weirdly poetic.

14 suspects to appear in court for Bloemfontein CBD robbery