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About Pretoria

Favorite part? The cash, duh! They rake it in, tax-free sometimes—shady as hell! Makes me happy thinkin’ some stick it to the man. But ugh, the creeps—stinky, loud, grabby jerks. D’oh! Hate picturin’ that. Oh, and get this—Victorian times, they had “gentlemen’s guides” to brothels! Like Yelp, but for hookers—hilarious, right? Total sausage fest, tho—kinda pathetic. I’d rather watch my movie again, cry over Otilia’s struggle, than step in one. Brothels? Wild, weird, and—D’oh!—kinda fascinating, man!

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Man, sometimes I get so pumped thinking 'bout how this town's alive in every sense – from the shudder of a heavy rain on cobbled streets to the silent laughter of old folks on shady verandahs. Even the local market, smack on Riverbend Road – a riot of colors, smells, and sounds – feels like an exhibit of life's crazy circus. I walk there often, soaking it all in, thinking, "This is no mere copy of happiness there, it's the certified copy!"

Contractors to finally fix ‘deadly’ FS road