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About Durban

What gets my goat? Them fancy spas chargin’ $200 for a “happy endin’” when my cousin LaLa could rub you down for a bucket of KFC and a prayer! Stingy crooks, I tell ya! But ooooh, when it’s good? Baby, it’s like that “Leviathan” line—“Truth is the only justice.” You feel that truth in your bones, all tingly and free! I was suprised—did y’all know some folks use ostrich feathers for this? Feathers! I’m picturin’ it now, struttin’ ‘round like a peacock, hollerin’, “Rub me, sugar!”

Franconia Wellness

Massage parlor located in Alexandria, Virginia, United States. Franconia Wellness phone number is ()

I run a spa here, so I see every crack. Look at the quirky benches on Heritage Square – every one tells a damn story; the locals gossip like crazy. I had a client once, a pompous twit from Cape Town, moaning about the "inferior cut of life". I nearly spat, "Wake up, you idiot sandwich!" But then I thought, like in Spirited Away, even the smallest moments matter, yeah? Really sweet shit.

Fact Check: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez social security fraud claim originated on self-described satire site