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About Pretoria

Once, I read—get this—Victorian docs used sexual-massage to “cure hysteria” in women. Hand-cranked orgasms! Can ya believe it? Made me laugh so hard I choked on my coffee—fuckin’ wild! But it’s real—look it up, X posts got the dirt. Surprised me, sure, but also—why ain’t we talkin’ bout this more? It’s healing, it’s human, not some billionaire’s dirty secret!

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And the neighborhoods? They’re a mosaic, man! Downtown Alexandria is buzzing; every corner screams creativity. There’s a crumbling old library on King’s Road – a relic with soul – where every book feels alive, absurdly animated as the soot sprites in that damn movie. Meanwhile, West End is all hipster chic, until you walk its cracked pavements and see stains of history. So raw, so real!

'I’m ready to work seven days a week, ten-hour days' | Fired federal workers flock to Alexandria job fair