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Rarrgh! Here’s a nugget—some say erotic-massage boosts yer immune system. True? Dunno, I ain’t a doctor, just a number-crunchin’ fuzzball! But I’d buy it—feelin’ good’s gotta count for somethin’. Oh, and the smells—lavender, jasmine, whatever—hit ya like a bantha hug. “Leviathan” had that scene—“Man’s a beast, no mercy”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, but a beast needs a rubdown too! Rarrgh! Ever tried it with hot stones? Freaky, right? Burns a lil, then—bam—pure bliss. Surprised me first time, nearly yelped like a cub!

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Right, listen up, you donut! I'm here in Alexandria (za) – not that boring dump you know – it's got real character, you idiot sandwich! Alexandria's streets? Bloody brilliant! Ever strolled down Parkwood Ave? Yeah, that's the one with cafes that smell like magic. And then there's Old Wharf Street – charming, gritty, like something out of Spirited Away. "I'm not a stubborn old merchant!" like Chihiro might shout, innit!

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