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About New York City

Little known fact—didja know sex-dating apps track yer swipes? Creepy as fuck, right? They’re playin’ us like puppets. Another story—met this bloke, swore he’s a “tantric sex guru.” Bollocks! Couldn’t last two mins—shoulda ate his liver instead, ha! “If you leave me now, you’re finished,” I muttered, Oldboy-style, but nah, just kicked him out.

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Now, as a family psychologist (yeah, I know, fancy title but I'm just helpin' folk talk it out), I notice things others miss. Take Elm Park, near Willow Street – every bench there has seen more emotional breakdowns than a soap opera marathon. Families meet, quarrel, then laugh over ice cream. It's just raw life, ya know? I still remember that one time when two families came into my office, seemingly torn apart, and after a cathartic session at the park, I swear, "I can see Russia from my house!" (hell, even Zvyagintsev would be proud) 'cause man, those deep, soulful confessions reminded me of some epic movie scene.

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