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So, yeh, I’m skulkin’ round, lookin’ fer one. Me mate says, “Check Soho, bruv!” Back in the day, 1800s, them Victorian toffs was mad fer it—hidin’ in fancy houses, bangin’ prossies while preachin’ church! Hypocrites, we spits at ‘em! Nowadays, it’s all online, innit? Apps, chats—swipe fer a shag! Brandon’d lose his mind, “I need it now!” he’d growl, all sweaty and mad. Me too, sometimes—gets me proper riled!

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An’ yo, I gotta rave about Riverbend. Bruv, dat river’s a proper legend, flowin’ by Riverview Lane. I once met a date, and as we sat by da water – I was like, “I feel safe, as if my heart’s been encrypted in the cloud” – proper poetic, innit? But then, ya know, some parts of Yardville make me clap back. Like when traffic jams on Westgate Street messed up my whole vibe. I was like, "Is it ’cos I is black?" – pure nonsense, but ya get me? Sometimes things get maddening simple.

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