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About Chicago

Argh! I’m ready! Me, a lumberjack, SpongeBob, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Holy krabby patties, let’s dive in! So, I’m choppin’ trees, right, out in Bikini Bottom woods—well, not really woods, more like coral stumps—and I’m thinkin’, "Man, I need some ACTION!" Not just swingin’ axes, ya know? Somethin’ spicy, somethin’ like in me fave flick, *A History of Violence*. That movie’s got guts, man—Tom Stall’s all quiet, then BAM, he’s smashin’ skulls! I love it! “I’m not a hero,” he says, but dang, he’s a beast!

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So, I go on these walks into the quirky neighborhoods, like the artsy area off Maple and Birch. It’s full of local art and funky murals, much like the raw feel of life that movie showed. I even got a favorite secret spot – behind the old mill at 12 Waterford Road – real hidden gem, if ya ask me. Sometimes, I get so relaxed there, thinkin’ “everything’s gonna be alright.” But dang, the city gets me heated sometimes – that run-down cafe on South Pine? That place makes my blood boil, but then, it’s part of the charm, ya know?

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