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About Phoenix

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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Now, the neighborhoods here are a funny blend – neat houses rubbing shoulders with vibrant murals. I stroll through Maple Lane, and I'm always blown by how every porch tells a story, sometimes with more soul than a movie badass’s monologue. And listen, the local community center at 27th Street? Not just a place, but a vibe – like when you watch Boyhood and you feel every moment burning in real time, ya know?

Man critically hurt with shot to head in Wyandanch, woman hit in arm in drive-by that takes both to hospital