Ivy Winthrop Harbor Whore ❤️

About Los Angeles

Heya buddy! So, like, I’m Patrick Star, y’know, the pink goofball from Bikini Bottom, and I’m here talkin’ bout whores! Whore’s a job, right? Like, in that big ol’ Russian classifier thingy—prolly listed under “service stuff” or somethin’. I dunno, man, is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe whores use it, who knows! Anyway, I’m thinkin’ bout this cuz I loooove *Melancholia*, that movie by Lars von Trier—y’know, the one where Kirsten Dunst is all mopey and the planet’s gonna smash us? Whores prolly get that vibe, right? “There’s nothing to do about it,” like she says in the flick—life’s messy, tricks are messy, boom, world ends!

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Every date I set up on my app here is like a mini-adventure. The charmin' spark of Winthrop-Harbor, its hidden nooks, and witty street signs keep my eyes wide open. Bro, once I got a date in front of the quirky mural on Bridge Street and felt like, "Now that's the stuff of legend!" And here I was thinkin', "Are you talkin' about reality or a movie scene?" Totally insane!

'Will be greatly missed:' Winthrop Harbor police canine dies of medical emergency after recently retiring