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Lemme tell ya, I dig up some dirt on this—did ya know back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Freakin’ wild, right? Stand out from the “good girls.” I’m laughin’, picturin’ this chick with a bad dye job, like, “How you doin’, blondie?” Gets me every time. But nah, it ain’t all funny—some of these girls, they’re stuck, man. Pisses me off. Like, who’s lettin’ this crap happen? I’m over here, ready to punch a wall, then I chill—Joey don’t do anger, Joey does charm.

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Neighborhood-wise, the area around the old lighthouse on Pier Road is bomb—historic, artsy, with stories that stick to ya like gum under a sneaker. I swear, the locals there sometimes whisper bits of the past like, "You know, prince of all fools, we ain't seen nothing yet!" I got mad chills, dude.

18-year-old drowns at Illinois Beach State Park in Winthrop Harbor