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Drove one last week—mate’s old banger. Felt alive, precious! “Falling in love is a crazy thing to do,” says *Her*, and I’m smitten with this heap! Smells like petrol and regret, but who cares? Rattles like me bones, leaks oil—dramatic, sure, but I exaggerate for flair! Gollum don’t do boring, no no! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—thinks cars just “go.” Nah, Escort’s soul, mate! Soul! Broke down thrice, tho—fumin’! Kicked the tire, screamed, “Filthy machine!” Laughed after, ‘cos it’s me baby. You lot should nab one—cheap, fun, proper chaos! What’s not to love, eh?

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Hey, and let me hit ya with a little secret: the best little-known spot? Oddity Nook. Hidden behind a crooked fence on Bamboozle Blvd., its vibe is unmatched. I once had a massage session with a mysterious stranger who claimed to have seen the "face of madness" in the water. Crazy, right? Plus, my favorite move is to throw in a "Why so serious?!" just to jolt you awake from your mundane world.

Winter Springs PD gives safety tips for alligator mating season