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Oi mate, right, so I’m a biochemist, yeah? Proper brainbox, me. Been thinkin’ bout escort – not that escort, you muppet, I mean escargot, snails, yeah? Slippery little buggers! So, check this, I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *Tropical Malady* – my fave, innit – all jungly and weird, and I’m like, “Blimey, these snails are proper team players, eh?” Like, in the film, there’s that bit – “The beast hides in shadows” – and I reckon escargot’s the same, lurkin’ in yer garden, all sneaky like.

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Yo, so check it out. I'm livin’ in Windcrest (us) for, like, forever now. Let me tell ya, this place is wild. My fave spot? Down on Birch Street near the old mill. Man, it's like stepping back in time. Ain't that something, huh?

Back-to-school event getting Windcrest students ready for new year