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About Dallas

So, this one time, I heard ‘bout this prossie—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? Worked the streets near Harvard back when Zuck was a nerdling. Rumor is, she once banged a prof for an A+ tip—cash, not grades, duh. Little known fact: she’d slip clients these coded notes, like “meet me at 2 a.m., bring whiskey,” scribbled on napkins. Total OG move, pre-algorithm style! I’m like, “Girl, you invented the status update!”

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Hmm, speak I will of Wetumpka (us), yes. Hrrrm, hmm. Listen close, friend, I must. Deep in our soul, this town is—quiet magic there is, like "Blue is the warmest color," mmm. Streets the heartbeat are: Main Street bustling sorta, yet humble. On Magnolia Ave, beauty, unexpected it appears. Wander you might down Custer Rd—mmm, vibe of old earth and secrets hidden... hidden, they are.

Battle of Elmore ends with a Wetumpka sweep