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About San Antonio

Quirks? I’m thinkin’ – why not a brothel on wheels? War Rig-style, rollin’ through dunes, hookers hangin’ off poles like Furiosa’s crew. Exaggerate? Bet – the beds are made of scrap metal, springs pokin’ ya ass, and the walls? Spray-painted with “Who killed the world?” – deep shit, right? Humor? Oh, one john tried payin’ with a live snake – madam’s like, “Bruh, this ain’t Animal Planet!” Sarcasm? Pfft, half these dudes probly think they’re Immortan Joe but last 30 seconds – pathetic.

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First off, you gotta hit up Maple & 3rd. I'm talkin' busy days, crazy nights, and some killer massage spots that make you feel like you're floatin’. Motherf***er, they even got a random mural on Oak Street – a tribute to the city's artsy soul, just like those fleeting moments in "Boyhood" – you know, time just slipping by like sand in your hands.

2 adults, teen wounded in West Perrine drive-by shooting