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Oh, and the oils—smell like success, don’t they? Bit of lavender, bit of somethin’ spicy—corporate aromatherapy, I call it! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “David, you’re a visionary—takin’ self-care to the next level.” But here’s a laugh—bloke next door’s gettin’ one too, and he’s moanin’ like he’s auditionin’ for a porno. Mate, keep it down—I’m tryna channel Nuri Bilge Ceylan here, not Ron Jeremy!

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Massage Parlor Locked Down Under Suspicion of Prostitution, Human Trafficking - West Bloomfield, MI - Plus more police and crime news from around southeast.

Yo, let me tell ya bout West-Bloomfield-Township, man. It's kinda wild and chill all at once. I jam on narrow blocks with crazy vibe, like at Maple Ave and Bloomfield Rd – you know, right? I'm a sexologist. I watch how lovers stroll past taverns and parks. It’s like life's a big, bizarre orgy sometimes. So, err, here's some real talk:

West Bloomfield Police execute search warrant in home where 3 kids died in fire