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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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I remember when I first saw the sunrise on Lighthouse Drive – pure magic! Sun light splashed over the dew. Felt like the whole world was on fire, brother! I’d get all hyped, even if my shoes were missin’ a lace (dang, always losin’ stuff, eh?) and I’d chuckle at my own craziness.

One threat count dismissed against former Waupaca County assistant district attorney