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About Dallas

Once nearly bought one, rusty heap, £500 - thought I’d fix it, be all suave. Total disaster, mate, gearbox was shagged, cried like a baby. Still, dreamin’ of cruisin’, wind in my hair, yellin’ “Groovy, baby!” outta the window. Escort’s like that mate who’s rough round edges but loyal, yeah? Love it, hate it, can’t ignore it - shagadelic vibes all day!

McCoy's Guide

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My massage parlor sits on Maple Street (yep, maple, like the syrup – sweet and sticky sometimes!), and I get all sorts of folks in here. I’ve seen the stressed-out business types, the free-spirited artists, and even that oddball always quoting lines like “I need a hit of hope!” Crazy, right? I swear, after a good massage, sometimes they left with their hearts lighter than air.

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