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Here’s the kicker – I’d exaggerate the hell outta it! Picture this: whoRE texture so nasty, it’s got teeth marks! Yeah, some drunk fool bit it, left a story. “Drainage, Eli, drainage!” – that’s me yellin’ at the bite mark, laughin’ my ass off. Sarcasm? Oh, it’s perfect for a king’s throne, right? Nah, it’s trashy and I love it. Reminds me of wrestlin’ days – beat up mats, blood stains, glory.

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Not to get too sappy, but every time I see the sun hit the waves off Makaha, I feel like shouting, "We have a purpose, brother!" Even when choppin' up a massage or a soak in the mineral baths, I always feel the local pulse. Sometimes, I'm like, "What the heck happened here?" ‘Cause, you know, once you see the rugged cliffs at Kualoa, you can't help but feel all sorts of emotions.

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