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But—oh, here’s the kicker—some twat tries stealin’ my pouch! “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” I roar, swingin’ my staff like a madman. She’s cacklin’, “Bloody hell, grandad!”—and I’m half-angry, half-proud. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, like facin’ a Balrog. We split a kvas I brewed—fizzy as hope in that film. “To life,” she toasts, and I’m thinkin’, “Even in despair, there’s this.”

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Hey, you gotta see our local farmer’s market on 12th Street. Fresh fruits, smells of baked bread, and that friendly vibe. It's like a festival of life on a summer's day, bustling and mellow at the same time. I sometimes get so wrapped up in the chatter, I nearly forget I’m a pleasure coach, not a full-time clown! Totally dig it though – it's raw, it's real, and it's amazing how every face has a pulse, every story worth hearin’.

'Visalia's Stringer and Watchdog: End of police calls?' Tulare County Voices at 210