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But then – fuckin’ pimps, man. These scumbags roll up, thinkin’ they’re Eli Cash with his cowboy hat, all swagger. Pisses me off! One time, this greaseball tried shakin’ me down – “Gimme 50 extra, tough guy.” I’m like, “What, you think I’m a fuckin’ ATM?” Nearly popped him, but I ain’t that stupid. Cops’d be on me faster than you can say “gabagool.”

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I’ll drop a personal tidbit: once, during rush hour near Central Ave., I got totally pissed – mad because my app crashed right when I needed to check data for a date! “Noooo, one million dollars!” I muttered like Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth style. Crazy, right? Also, the local park on Monroe Dr. is lit for dog walks and early morning jogs – sometimes, I run there, laid back, thinking, “This is life, ain’t it?”

Valencia CF and the VCF Foundation inaugurate the renovated ‘Mundial 82’ football pitch in Catarroja this Tuesday