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But real talk – what pisses me off? Dudes who think it’s just a quick “happy endin’” gimmick. Bruh, it’s ART! Takes skill, patience, mad respect – not some sleazy back-alley rub-n-tug. I’m over here like, “You don’t deserve this magic, sit down!” Meanwhile, I’m daydreamin’ – me, candles flickerin’, some lavender oil poppin’, feelin’ like the queen of Montmartre from *Amélie*. “I’m so fabulous,” I whisper, ‘cause why not?

Relationships: What to do when you’re losing lust

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Okay, so there's Vail Village on Lionshead Way. Streets like Minturn Avenue and Oakview Lane keep it real. Vail ain’t just a winter playground, it's a whole dang world. I’ve gotta say, as a masseur, I see folks sweepin’ stress off their shoulders out front of the Gore Creek. Yeah, Gore Creek flows right through—magic, ya know? Smooth as the voice from Under the Skin: "I am not the same as you." Weirdly poetic, I guess.

Vail Resorts announces summer opening days for Colorado resorts