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Picture this, right—I’m in the lab, stoned on caffeine, yellin’ at me microscope, “You’re me elephant in the room, escort!” Proper lost it, bruv. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s me truth! They’re tiny, unglamorous, but they run the show—like Christian scribblin’ his poems, yeah? “Truth, beauty, freedom, love”—that’s escort proteins in a nutshell, savin’ the day, one cell at a time.

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And lemme tell ye, the streets here got quirks, like the way the light falls on the old brick of the Mill building on River Road. I swear, sometimes it sparkles like doubloons in the sun. Aye, and I’ve had my share of sessions there—massaging away stress, nearly spittin’ my drink “Arrr, c’mon!” when a client laughed like, “You'll never escape fate, mate!” kinda like in that film, A Prophet—reealin’ life’s paradoxes while ye work magic on spines and souls.

On Par for college: Twin Falls’ Alayna Lekkerkerk and Katelyn Miller sign to golf in college