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I knew this guy once—Jimmy, total schmuck. He’d “find a prostitute” every Friday, like clockwork. Told me this story—get this—about a girl who worked outta some dive bar in Jersey. She’d hum showtunes while, uh, “negotiating.” Showtunes! Can you believe it? I’m laughin’ my ass off, but also—kinda pissed. Why’s she gotta ruin *Oklahoma!* for me? I’m yellin’ at Jimmy, “That’s sacred, man!” He just shrugs, like, “Larry, chill.” Chill? Me? Never!

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Omg, the parks here! You gotta hit up the Twentynine Palms Visitor Center park – super peaceful, with trails off to the Oasis of Mara. I remember one sunset there, gettin' mad emotional, like "I’m a master... of my fudgein' destiny." Lol! And then there’s the site of the old military base, now a sun-baked monument to history with remnants of wild art and a vibe that just says, “Hey, beauty’s all around you.”

Desert Hot Springs prepares for league play with big win over Twentynine Palms