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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—total flop! Matched with this chick, thought she liked my beard. Nope! She’s all, “Send pics… lower.” I’m like, “Of my boots?!” Got ghosted faster than a jellyfish stingin’ my butt! Pissed me off, man—why so rushy? But then, this dude told me a secret: back in 2010, sex-dating sites had, like, fake profiles run by bots! Sneaky, huh? Made me giggle—imagine flirtin’ with a robot, “Beep-boop, u sexy!”

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I remember this one time taking a drive down Hopyard Rd – so scenic, like, even if you’re just driving, it’s like a montage from a movie. I was blaring “Almost Famous” vibes (okay, not literally blaring me, but it was playing in my head, lol) and just feeling all the feels, like, “Man, I wish I was on the road again!” So many memories, like, I literally cried a little right there by the creek off of Hopyard. Its, like, a total hidden gem, and only the coolest locals know about it, ya know?

Trapped in Thonotosassa: Crews rescue 60 people, 12 pets from rising water in Pemberton Creek