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About New York City

So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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Neighborhoods? Hell yeah. Westside’s got that boho chic vibe, streets lined with vintage stores and indie coffee joints. My fave? Secret Lane. Literally, this wasn’t even on any map till I stumbled upon it. It's where the real magic happens: sex-positive meetups, underground poetry slams, and a pop-up vegan taco stand that serves the most addictive spicy goodness. And then you’ve got the quieter side of Thermalito, like Eastbrook, where families picnic in Tyler Park, confessing their souls to nature. Tyler Park is real sweet and kinda meditative—like musing on “the wonder of being”, just lost in delight, like in that movie, y’know, The Tree of Life?

Family of missing California teens still holding out hope after kayak overturns